This is a complicated and controversial topic: what is the appropriate way for a Christian woman to look, and put herself together, as in what should she wear for make-up, jewelry, or clothing? Well, what does the Bible say about this issue should be our answer…how should a woman adorn herself?
Beauty is an attribute of God that we should desire to reflect in ourselves. The Bible has a lot to say about beauty. Psalm 90:17 “And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.” God created beauty with an intention. It is cultivated in so many ways.
For example, there is a command to beautify Aaron. Exodus 28:2 “And you shall make holy garments for Aaron your brother, for glory and for beauty.”
In this passage, God Himself beautified Israel; He adorned and made her beautiful. Ezek 16:9-15 “Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord GOD. But you trusted in your beauty and played the harlot because of your renown and lavished your harlotry on any passerby; your beauty became his.” Note the contrast between God’s design for beauty and the contrary, selfish design later expressed in these verses. We see beauty is not bad: it is perfected and cultivated by God. However she used God’s gifts to her to attract other men to her. Her beauty then became disgusting to God and He judged her by taking away her beauty.
Look at these verses in Isaiah 3:16-24 “The LORD said: Because the daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly with their eyes, mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet, therefore the Lord will strike with a scab the heads of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will lay bare their secret parts. In that day the Lord will take away the finery of the anklets, the headbands, and the crescents; the pendants, the bracelets, and the scarves; the headdresses, the armlets, the sashes, the perfume boxes, and the amulets; the signet rings and nose rings; the festal robes, the mantles, the cloaks, and the handbags; the mirrors, the linen garments, the turbans, and the veils. Instead of perfume there will be rottenness; and instead of a belt, a rope; and instead of well-set hair, baldness; and instead of a rich robe, a skirt of sackcloth; and branding instead of beauty.” The Lord said He would take away her beauty and replace it because of her vanity about it, her haughtiness. Beauty is a blessing, we see, while ugliness is a curse.
Look at this verse--Jer 4:30 “And you, O desolate one, what do you mean that you dress in scarlet, that you adorn yourself with ornaments of gold, that you enlarge your eyes with paint? In vain you beautify yourself. Your lovers despise you; they seek your life.” We see this woman was dressed in scarlet, yet we also see in proverbs 31 that the woman was also clothed in scarlet and other fine things. We see that depending on the context, in the right context it’s OK, but not when it’s used in a bad way.
1Pe 3:3-4 “Your adornment must not be merely external-- braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses--but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” These verses aren’t saying external beauty is bad. ‘Merely’ implies you should not be beautify yourself ONLY externally, but also seek to internally. Historically beauty has been recognized and admired outwardly. Today with influences such as the hippies, the women’s right movement, it seems women don’t wish to adorn themselves so as to be beautiful. Look at today’s models; it seems they LIKE to look sickly. But men like pretty women! 50 years ago women knew this and responded accordingly but not today! It seems anger and bitterness toward men by reacting towards femininity shows in how women appear.
According to a recent poll, these are the traits men find attractive in women: 1). smile/cheerfulness, 2). a feminine and delicate nature (delicate, soft, kind-hearted, caring, but not weak or insecure--feminine, confident, and carrying herself with grace,) and 3). a nice voice--feminine and soft (not extremely high pitched, shrill.) You know, some women are at war with God and at war with their own femininity.
Some Christian women, though, make the mistake of trying to show they are ‘being unworldly’ yet by neglecting their appearance to show they are focusing on ‘most important things’ it makes me think of these verses: Matt 6:16-18 "And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, (in other words, groom yourselves, as usual!) that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in
secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Now I’m not talking about those crazy days we all have, but about women who DO have the time and just don’t bother trying to be attractive. Are they just trying to communicate some sort of super-spiritual selflessness? Look at Mephibosheth in 2 Sam 19:24 “And Mephibosheth the son of Saul came down to meet the king. He had neither taken care of his feet nor trimmed his beard nor washed his clothes, from the day the king departed until the day he came back in safety.” One commentary I consulted on this acknowledged the he was sincerely mourning the king’s departure, so his appearance was recorded. However this is an exception. Good grooming was a part of daily life in the Bible.
Perhaps it’s things like these, laziness, pietistic outlook, or bitterness toward your husband that can hamper your making yourself look attractive. Some women are nervous about trying to make themselves look more attractive because they think it seems worldly. No, this is not the case. The real issue is how we use beauty. This misunderstanding of the real issue stems from pietistic, Gnostic thinking. We have created a false separation in our minds between the secular and the sacred, the “spiritual” and the “worldly.” Set apart” doesn’t mean you just diverge from the world’s ways, being salt and light doesn’t mean you’re just being contrary just to be different. But we have a higher standard to be better: to disciple the world. Simply avoiding the world is not our calling...we are supposed to be discipling it.
The world has no right to own beauty. The world did not create beauty. God created beauty. God offers beautification. We aren’t leading in this area of beauty but rather are letting the world have it. Don’t just mindlessly conform to any trend out there, say Hannah Montana…or the frumpy jumper fashion. This is an important way we can love our husband: by trying to look nice--well-kempt and well-dressed--according to his wishes and convictions.
Here’s a question. Why can’t men just recognize our kindness, faithful hearts, and service to family—why not just these? Why do men place such importance on womanly beauty? Well, beautiful women are recognized and acknowledged all throughout Scripture, like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Esther, etc.—all these women commended for their beauty. Beauty was part of Job’s blessing from God on his daughters. Job 42:15 “And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job…” The Bible makes it clear that man’s appreciation of womanly beauty is legitimate.
Men are more likely to recognize beauty in women. If a woman looks relaxed, happy, makes an effort to look well-groomed, men will probably say she pretty. Here’s a quote, "…most men only visualize a woman's smile when they think about her." A poll found that when men looked at two photos of women, 66% of the men found the photo of the woman smiling, more attractive than the photo of the same woman wearing makeup, but not smiling. 60% of the men said that women, when not smiling, looked moody, disinterested, or hostile. A smile ranks by far the highest in "the first thing you look for in a woman." The main thing that makes a woman pretty is the pleasant expression, the happy, friendly, eager-to-please expression on the faces. It’s more important than the other things. You’re not doing it to glorify yourself or seek attention. The pursuit of beauty as a thing for themselves is the world’s perspective. Attracting the entire room’s attention is not our goal. It’s for others: for their sake we seek to look attractive; it’s a Christian goal. Looking attractive is something we do to please our husbands and families and others.
If a young woman has no self-discipline in this area when she’s single, how will they look later when they are older and the busy mothers of many young children? I remember in the Little House books… When Mary was going blind, and her mother sewing her ‘best dress’, Mary asked if she looked well. Her mother’s response: “No matter where you go, you will be a pleasure to every eye that sees you.” This was the object for the mother and daughter: it was just to give pleasure to eyes of others, not for themselves.
1Cor 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” We are to glorify God in our bodies.
I looked up all these verses about beauty for women and these two main words stuck out: yawpheh and tobe. Yawpheh means ‘beautiful, fair, pleasant, well, goodly.’ Tobe means ‘good, cheerful, at ease, loving, merry, pleasant.’ Beauty for women by definition is more than bone structure and features. It’s an amazing truth, 1 Cor 6:19-20 our bodies are not our own…
Think about this:1 Cor 3:16 “Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.” We should maintain our bodies in honor through diet and exercise and some degree of beautification. Neglect and poor stewardship are not appropriate ways to honor God with our bodies.
Now, let’s address jewelry. Some denominations frown on it as do some Christians. Well, how’s the Bible view jewelry? Look at these verses. Gen 24:22 “When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half shekel, and two bracelets for her arms weighing ten gold shekels…” Gen 24:52-53 “When Abraham's servant heard their words, he bowed himself to the earth before the LORD. And the servant brought out jewelry of silver and of gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave to her brother and to her mother costly ornaments.” Interesting how Rebekah was adorned with jewel as an acceptable ornamentation--and a bride price. And jewelry also was given to her brother and mother.
What does God do in Eze 16:11-13? “And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver.” Again we see in God’s Word an adorning with gold and silver. If jewelry was forbidden, why would Lord himself give these items and adorn her?
1Pe 3:3 “Your adornment must not be MERELY external--braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” These verses are stressing that beauty is not to be just external. This is the principle: not merely external. It should not be the most important thing about us.
How about make-up? Jer 4:30 “And you, O desolate one, what do you mean that you dress in scarlet, that you adorn yourself with ornaments of gold, that you enlarge your eyes with paint? In vain you beautify yourself. Your lovers despise you; they seek your life.” Along with clothes and jewelry it’s considered a beautification routine. The Bible doesn’t specifically say to use or not use make-up. Anointing the skin with oil is in there as an acceptable thing.
I would say make-up is OK. The same principles apply to our use of make-up which we use for clothing and jewelry--modesty, discretion, taste, orderliness, and gender distinction. It’s not to be an over-glorification or a ‘return to the natural state’ thing either. The Christian mindset is that the natural man and the natural world need to be civilized, sanctified, refined, cultivated, built up, polished, reformed, advanced, developed, and taken dominion of. Strive to look natural, just not painted or artificial. The wise way to apply makeup is so that most people won’t notice that you are wearing it. The goal is not to draw all eyes to you by wearing it. Is purple eyelid color natural-looking?
I was a granola-eating college student when got married and had to learn to wear make-up and jewelry, nylons and pumps. I thought, this is so not me! But I did it for my husband. For example, when we moved to hot San Antonio, all the women wore open toe shoes, and…everyone painted their toenails. I didn’t want to—it’s so not me--but it was a mental hurdle I needed to overcome. I stuck to my closed toe shoes…but finally… I learned something from our heifer who decided she didn’t want to be leashed…but she wanted to enjoy that lush green grass over yonder. Finally when she learned to submit to that leash, she was led out to that wonderful green grassy field to graze on that she had been missing out on. So I began to change my shoes…and paint my toenails…to fit in. Instead of being proud of who we are…we should be proud of Christ’s ability to enable us to do all things! Even things we never, ever thought we would see ourselves do. Phil 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
Let’s talk about hair. 1Co 11:14-15 “Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.” How long is long? We can see a principle in Deut 22:5 "A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God.” The immediate design of this prohibition was to maintain the sanctity of that distinction of the sexes which was established by the creation of man and woman. The principle we find in this verse is that it is God’s will for women that they look like women--not just in clothes but all things. God’s will for women is that they look like women, like men should look like men. We should delight in these distinctions. In all things, do just what does your husband likes, don’t worry about what your hair stylist, church women, mom think about what color, style to fix etc.
1 Cor 11:7 “For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.” Woman is the glory of man. Prov 12:4 “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Remember the principle of distinction between the sexes. Motives are an important part of what you: are you doing what you’re doing to seduce men or gain power over them, call attention to yourself, gain wealth, glorify yourself? The right desire is to glorify, and be the crown of your husband in beauty, honor, purity, holiness.
Another principle: modesty. Gen 3:7 “Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” Gen 3:21 “And the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.” Gen 9:22-23 “And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned backward, and they did not see their father's nakedness.” Exposing your nakedness is obviously displeasing to the Lord. There are many commandments concerning nakedness.
Modesty can also mean something closely linked to propriety. 1 Tim 2:9 “likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works.” Calvin’s commentary cites… moderation. (I looked up a link to Calvin’s commentary on this passage, if you’re interested, as I couldn’t type fast enough to get the long quote from it:
http://www.truecovenanter.com/calvin/calvin_17_on_Timothy.html ) To assign a limit is hard. Another commentary concerning modesty notes that you don’t come in rags but in decent raiment. For example, they washed their clothes before appearing before Lord at Mt. Sinai. (Ex 19:10)
Prov 31:22 “…her clothing is fine linen and purple.” A certain degree of beauty and adornment is appropriate, for example age-appropriate clothing. What about ambassadorship? 2 Cor5:20 “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” What does being an ambassador as a Christian imply?
1Cor 9:19-23 “For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.” To win more become all things to all men…which means you may have to adjust your clothes, like if you move to a different area or your husband’s station in life changes or we simply grow up. However, we may never lay aside the Scriptural principles of distinction between the sexes and modesty. And we may never use these verses to justify compromising other principles simply so we can selfishly follow worldly styles and trends. It doesn’t mean we imitate the world to ‘win them’! So often the reverse happens to the younger Christian—the world wins them!
We may need to change the way we dress to be more effective ambassadors for Christ. We may need to die to self. We are to be different from world. 1Cor 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
How about wearing pants for women… We need to train ourselves to always approach every question or controversy from a Scriptural foundation. This is not addressed in the Bible. Selfish women will grudgingly seek the Word to find loophole for themselves… Because scripture does not address pants or slacks specifically, we must find the principles that address this garment and what is communicated when we choose to wear pants or not wear pants. Here’s what we have to go on: 1). the principles of distinction between the sexes, 2). the modesty issue, and 3). the issue that the actions of the Christian are never neutral.
Look, even dresses are not always modest. For me, I have decided to forego wearing pants in this feminist culture to help rebuild biblical foundations, as a statement to address the blurring of the distinction between the sexes in this culture. We should want to be part of the process of rebuilding biblical foundations of culture look at it as being part of a ‘resistance movement’. Isn’t that exciting? Our response to the blurring of the distinctions between the sexes in our culture is to be as distinctive as we can… as lady-like as we can. Our culture is a mess…we have the opportunity in our own homes and wardrobes to clean it up and create what WE think culture SHOULD look like.
So, what should we look like? God’s standard is beauty not ugliness. What message should we send to the culture? We have the opportunity to show God's standards to be as beautiful as they really are…to make modesty look beautiful instead of ugly…to make femininity look radiant instead of quaint, or dowdy, or restrictive. Prov 11:22 “Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” Discretion is taste or judgment. You can be unappealing though you may be beautiful.
You should talk to your husband about these things and submit your will to his. You shouldn’t just think this is your jurisdiction alone, not his. Eph 5:24 “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Follow your husband’s leadership in these areas, not today’s trends, even if other women you admire or are discipling you do differently…do what your husband wants you to do!
Psa 29:11 “May the LORD give strength to his people! May the LORD bless his people with peace!”
