The key ingredient.... it's called Consistency. Ever heard of it? The way most kids act these days, you would think NO one knows what the word means. What does it mean to be consistent? Well, let me tell you. Let's say your little one is pulling your lovely center piece off the coffee table. To be consistent, we need to let them know that "NO" means "NO". If we give up in frustration after a few tries and let them have the piece or just put it up out of their reach, they will never grasp the meaning of "NO" because they think they still have a chance. If we give in just ONE time, they will forever think there is a chance of getting by if we don't let them know that WE are the ones in authority.
It is very critical that we teach them while they are young, because it only gets harder the older they get. You know, kinda like us, we get "set" in our ways. Well, so do they. If you are constantly giving up in exasperation, then they know that YOU are not the boss, THEY are. They know they will eventually get their way if they just wear you down long enough. And yes, it may take longer some times than at other times, but if you are not firm with them then they are the ones who are ultimately in control. Sounds scary, doesn't it? I do have to admit that some kids are more stubborn than others.... we've had our share. And the stubborn ones do make you feel like giving up and giving in, BUT, hang in there, consistency does have its rewards!
It is such a blessing to me when we are out in public and someone says to me, "Your children are SO well behaved!" Just the other day we were at Stone Mountain and we decided to go in the gift shop. And like typical gift shops, it was small and crammed with all sorts of breakables, and of course the typical signs posted everywhere that say, "You break, You pay". (and that's what I tell my kids, 'you break, you pay') Anyway, I gave my kids the quick "don't touch ANYTHING" talk and we went in....me and my husband, and our 8 kiddos. We picked out a mug and plate and made our way to the cash register. When I went to pay, James took some of the kids outside with him, and that sweet elderly lady at the register said to me, "It was such a blessing to have your family in here. Usually when kids come in here I start into worrying about what is going to get broken, but your kids were SO well-behaved! It was like a breath of fresh air!" That just made my day! Now, I don't tell you that because my kids are perfect.....they are far from it! They were born depraved just like the next person. But consistent discipline and training when they were young has been the key to obedience. And just so you know, I'm not implying in any way that there aren't other key factors, THERE ARE. Some of them are MAJOR. In fact, if you don't have the right Biblical Worldview and Jesus Christ isn't Lord of your home, I'm here to tell you.....you are doomed from the start. So if you don't have those two key factors, then you might as well quit reading and wasting your time.
So, you say, when do you start training.....how young IS young? Every child is different so there will be differences in ages, but for ours we have had to start teaching them the word "NO" somewhere between 6 and 8 months. Whoa! But they are still babies!! Yep, and if you don't start when they are still babies, then you will definitely find out what it's like to have a child go through the "terrible 2's" and 3's and 4's.....you catch the drift. We are in the process of teaching Liberty (who is 8 months) the word "No". It has always started with our glasses. Everyone of our babies have went for our glasses. Then it's necklaces and earrings. There will be some that say, "Well, I just don't wear any of that stuff so it won't be a temptation for them." Well, you can't keep temptation from them forever. They will find something to grab. And a little smack on the hand does wonders! Yes, it takes several times...and with some, several more. But IF you are consistent, then they will get the idea that you mean what you say, and they will equate the word "no" with "ouch, that hurt" and they will soon quit when they first hear the word "no".
In the weeks to come, I will talk a little more in depth about different situations and circumstances, methods and madness! So stay tuned. If there is any particular subject you would like to hear about, don't hesitate to leave a comment.
Let me also say, it will not be an overnight process. That is another one of our problems today, wanting things right NOW! It takes work and it takes patience, and it takes a LOT of prayer! And still, things won't be perfect, but it can be a little bit more peaceful than the average Joe's home down the street. And you might even hear someone tell you how well-behaved your kids are.
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