The Duty of Wives To Their Husbands - By John Bunyan

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."~ Eph 5:22-24

The wife is bound by the law of God to her husband, so long as her husband is alive [Romans 7:2]. She has her own specific tasks and responsibilities in the family. Now there are certain attitudes the wife must have towards her husband, which she must faithfully live by.

First, that she look upon him as her head and lord, “The head of the woman is man.” [1 Corinthians 11:3] And so the wife should be “like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.” [1 Peter 3:6]

Secondly, she should therefore be subject to him, as is fitting in the Lord. The apostle said, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” [Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1; Ephesians 5:22] I told you before, that if the husband walks in a godly way before his wife, then he will be such an example of God to her, besides the relationship of a husband, that will preach to her the attitude of Christ to his church. And now I also say, that the wife, if she lives with her husband in a graceful and submissive manner, she will preach the obedience of the church to her husband, just as it is written in the Scriptures, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” [Ephesians 5:24]

Now, wives, in order for you to accomplish this, you must first shun the following evils:

1. The evil of a wandering and a gossiping spirit; this is evil in the church, and is evil also in a wife, who is to be the living model of a church. Christ loves to have His spouse stay at home; that is, to be with Him in the faith and practice of His things, not wandering and meddling with the things of Satan; wives should not be given to wander and gossip everywhere. You know that Proverbs 7:11 says that the unfaithful wife, “Is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home.” Wives should be about their own husbands' business at home; as the apostle said, let them “to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” [Titus 2:5]

2. Be careful of a silly, quarrelsome, or talkative tongue. This also is repulsive in wives, to be like parrots, not bridling their tongue; whereas the wife should know, as I said before, that her husband is her lord, and is over her, as Christ is over the church. Do you think it is appropriate for the church to rattle on with foolish talk against her husband? Is she not to be silent before him, and to study to be obedient to His laws, rather than her own fantasies?
The apostle Paul said, “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” [1 Timothy 2:11-12]

It is improper to see a woman trying to usurp her husband’s authority; she must in everything be in subjection to him, and to do all she does, as having her justification, permission, and authority from him. And indeed here is her glory, even to be under him, as the church is under Christ: “She is to speak with wisdom, and with faithful instruction is on her tongue. [Proverbs 31:26]

3. Be careful not to wear immodest clothes, or to walk in a lustful manner; this will be evil both outside and inside the home; outside, it will not only give a bad example, but also tend to tempt others to lust and immorality; and at home it will give an offense to a godly husband, and will infect and lead astray ungodly children. Therefore, be obedient to the Word of God which says, “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,” [1 Timothy 2:9] And, that “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair
and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For
this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands.” [1 Peter 3:3-5]

But yet, do not think that by the subjection I have just mentioned, that I intend that women should be their husbands' slaves. Women are their husbands' partners and companions, their flesh and bones; and there is not a man that hates his own body, or that is cruel to it [Ephesians 5:29]. Therefore, let every man “love his wife as he loves himself, and [let every] wife respect her husband.” [Ephesians 5:33] The wife is the deputy master of the home, and is to rule everything in his absence; And when her husband is present then she is to manage the household, to bring up the children, and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. [1 Timothy 5:10-14]

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” “A kindhearted woman gains respect,” and conducts her matters with justice. [Proverbs 31:10; 11:16]